International Pronouns Day

International Pronouns Day was established to raise awareness about the use of pronouns that are different to those assigned at birth. This is usually Trans, Non-Binary and Genderqueer people, but can also be Gender Fluid and Intersex identities.

And it gives everyone a chance to underline the importance of using the correct pronouns for a person’s identity. It’s a time for everyone to redouble efforts to normalise the use of correct pronouns, and especially for cisgender people, to educate themselves about different pronouns and how they can use them to respect and empower others.

International Pronouns Day was founded by Shige Sakurai (they/them) of Pronouns.org, who’s been an LGBTQ+ rights activist since the 1990s, and is currently an educator, administrator and consultant for diversity and inclusion. Thank you Shige!

It’s a great day for people who use different pronouns to talk about the issues they face and remind their friends and family of what it means to them. 

Using the correct pronouns for someone is really just basic respect. If you’re a cisgendered man or woman, imagine how angry you’d get if you were constantly referred to as the opposite gender!

Or imagine if someone insisted on calling you the wrong name. You’d go mad.

Using the correct pronouns not only shows you care about the emotional wellbeing of the person you’re talking to, it also validates Trans, Non-Binary, Genderqueer, and Gender Fluid people in a world that so often excludes and s a simple action, but the positive consequences are huge.

We hear so much anger and read so much pushback from cisgendered people who claim that the use of pronouns is a recent fad and they refuse to comply with this ‘woke nonsense.’ But the fact is that alternative pronoun use has been around for hundreds of years.

Examples of "they" being used in a non-gendered way to describe someone in the singular appeared in Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales in 1386. And there are examples scattered through literature ever since, including in Jane Austin’s Pride And Prejudice.

To the real reason for the pushback is because those people are simply comfortable with the blanket use of binary pronouns and can’t be bothered to make the effort to learn pronouns for each person. Even though they will learn someone’s name.

Back in 2019 an article in The Guardian  highlighted a study, whose findings showed that “using a gender-neutral pronoun reduces mental biases that favour men, and boosts positive feelings towards women and LGBT people”. And that they “chip away at long-standing gender inequities”. Which makes it quite confusing as to why cisgendered women would be against their use. 

The traditional binary pronouns are he/him/his and she/her/hers. These are used by both cis and trans people.

They/them/theirs has always existed and can be used for plural groups of people or singular persons when their gender is not known, for example “to each their own.” In more recent decades, non-binary people and other people outside of the traditional gender binary have used they/them pronouns as a gender-neutral option.

Don’t listen to people who say singular they is grammatically incorrect, they don’t know what they’re talking about! (See, I just proved them wrong. And again.)

People have also developed specially tailored neopronouns that they feel fit them better than the pre-existing he, she or they.  The list of these is extensive, including: Zie/Zim; Zir/Zis; Ey/Em; Eir/Eirs and Xe/Xem.

Many of these pronouns have been created for people who speak languages other than English, when there are no gender-neutral options available.

It’s also worth remembering that some people are using a combination of gendered and non gendered pronouns, such as she/they or he/they – this just means that this person is happy with either of those pronouns. If it sounds confusing or complicated, don’t worry! Most people are happy to talk about their pronouns if you ask respectfully.

We should all be using pronouns when we introduce ourselves to new people to remove the awkwardness of doing it is removed. And we must also listen when others do it to make sure we remember. We’ve all heard the idiot who moans when someone uses their pronouns. Those people must be made to feel out of place. This is how we normalise the use of pronouns.

We can also wear pins or t-shirts with our pronouns to make it obvious to others. Why not get a nice shiny enamel one, durable enough for everyday wear?

And include our pronouns in our social media bios and after our names when we sign emails. At events such as book groups, everyone can introduce themselves with their pronouns. It doesn’t have to be awkward!

When you meet someone new, even if they don’t look trans or androgynous, it’s always a good idea to ask their pronouns. Sometimes when people are in the early stages of trying different gender presentations, someone asking their pronouns can be an easy way of starting an important conversation.

Upload selfies or themed content using the hashtag #PronounsDay. Have conversations with your friends or family about pronouns and make sure everyone’s on the same page. Check your friends’ social media pages to see if they’ve updated their pronouns recently. Organise an event in your local community – why not bake cookies and write different pronouns on them with icing?

For organisations you can make introducing yourself using your pronouns normalised across the business, starting with those at the top. Ensuring that all company documents and staff passes have correct pronouns on and email signatures have pronouns by default. 

Ensure that your HR department knows the pronouns people want to use and make sure they're used by senior staff and in internal communications. And make it clear that deliberate misgendering will not be tolerated. And most of all, take it seriously when these incidents are reported, and act quickly.